you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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