another moral hangover. fuck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
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And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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