so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
