How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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