she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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