Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Boobs speak an international language.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
