i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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