I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
