I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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