I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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