During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize