Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
