He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
