So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
