The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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