Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
me + whiskey = a bad person
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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