we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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