oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
