He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
