We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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