I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have post one night stand depression
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
