sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
