So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
