theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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