So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
