he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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