when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
