she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
