I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize