He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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