Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
