Pappa wants mamma naked
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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