I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize