Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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