we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
