just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
