I'm really into asian looking animals
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
