..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
