Porn is love you can see.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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