Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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