She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
