I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
