i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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