I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
