Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
