if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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