I need help removing her.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
