Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
