I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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