At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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