Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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