I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize