I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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