I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
