OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize