What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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