so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
