This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
