She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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